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I'm starting to think the
HOKEY POKEY
might just be
what it's all about...
Right now, as I sit (crouched) on the eve of my 50th ... I can only state with certainty... NOTHING IS CERTAIN
I Never Thought I'd Live This LONG!!  When I was a young woman, I thought;   50 years old?  EEUUW psht.. might as well be dead!!
I mean, come on now?  Stop counting already...  
50?!? 
I tried to remember a cool 50 yr old woman from 30 years ago...
and I could NOT!!!
And if they were cool 25-30 years ago at 50... those particular women are probably dead now, further hindering the recollection. I've best been described as "off beat".
A good friend of mine said so because I told him to try and sum me up in a word... he could not, the best he could come up with and I have to agree... OFF-BEAT
I'm sincere and often indifferent, loyal and distracted, creative and frustrated, independant and devoted, opinionated and open-minded, intelligent and flakey...I defy description.

Well, I'm almost 50 and I've not died yet...
I can dance, tell a decent joke and hold my own in a room full of doctors, lawyers and homies alike.

Okay... in a perfect world... A smart confident, PATIENT, travel addicted woman who is crazy about me and wants nothing more than to see me do my Happy Dance.  She believes in me and listens with only half an ear sometimes, but listens always. She tells corny jokes and dances like Ellen DeGeneres.  We are strong women and hardwork in the yard makes for latenight wound-tending... We make a team in the kitchen, and dinner for us is fun, healthy and provocarive.  She is successful in an innovative business. or a retitiring Judge... or an activist or a travel brochure photographer (that's my dream job)!! She travels the world building churches or chasing comets... She is a compassionate and responsible woman... Being with each other is not all that matters to us, but it is our focus... we check with each other before committing to any social events... But if she isn't fond of the dinner party group, I go alone and she's cool with it.. . We help people in need.  We battle NEED.  We somehow foster HOPE. And for us, TRUST is or tether. Trust.  Simple and profound the practice, to trust. We never use derogitory or offensive words for each other... We use pet names on a regular basis...We hold to the blessing each other brought to our life...