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Long story short don't drink or drug have 4 years sobriety Now 5! I also not as a personal choice but just something that has occurred have not done casual hookups. I certainly did in the past and found it empty and hopeless. I had a taste of true love right before I went into recovery, even though that person moved on I wanted it again. I want to have a good record for the right person and not have to make excuses for behaviors I wouldn't approve in someone else. If it so happens I think it would be so cool to find the right guy for a long term relationship and have meaningful sex with that person. Not F easy trust me lol.One of the saddest thing's to me in humanity is especially found in the gaylife style is those types that have the"partner" to have all the material things and guess who in the majority are online hooking up! It takes faith in your self and hope that you'll meet that person and that is why I am working so hard on myself, you attract what you are. I have settled more times than not in fear and paid dearly for that. I'm now a true believer that we are handed lessons in life and I finally took notice. Or watch the world spin by I have every reason to be disappointed and mad at the world but ultimately I can beat the status quo and take one day at a time, or if need be minute by minute or second by second lol, that has kept me from drinking again and can work in every avenue of life, I find if applied correctly and with humility. I always ponder this when I start to get crazy in my head" how many people really stop to think of the world where in right now, were spinning in the middle of space thousands of miles an hour !" that alone should say how miraculous life is. There are so many beautiful and amazing places here for me its the mountains and the endless water in waterfalls, or the springs here in Florida. I think each of us if we really ponder for a minute in the world were in, can find a special place like tha

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