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First off, I can take care of myself. I'm not really looking for a serious relationship... mainly because I value my independence. I prefer to keep everything casual and carefree.

I like myself the way I am. I'm not ready to change myself for someone else... so don't ask. I'm very unconventional. I love to make jokes that make people squirm and **occasionally** piss people off. Laughing is how I deal. If you have a very conservative sense of humor (or lack there of) then you probably wouldn't like me.

Also, if you're one of those guys who just wants my number for a booty call every now and then, then forget it (I'm not here for your entertainment!... I LOVE THAT SONG!) .

Anyway, beneath the completely unserious (is that even a word?!) and crass out layer, I'm actually a pretty nice guy. He comes out every now and then... but generally I prefer the "Kathy Griffin" side of my personality.

I'm still alive at the age of 19. For the stuff that I say about people... that's a big accomplishment.

Be nice. At least semi-masquline. A top (if you don't know what that is...then forget it and go look at some porn). Intelligent. Have a good sense of humor. Like slasher flicks. Smoke (or tolerate smoking to an extent where it seems like you smoke). And just be down to earth. No stupid drama. No creepy fetishes. No felonies or times of unemploymet... oh wait. Scratch that one. No std's or aids or stuff like that (not to sound shallow... I'll still talk to you. But uh... no sex. Ever.)