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I preempt this minor exposee
with a statement that is
becoming more and more relevant as I
grow older. I am not a good
time girl and I will not/cannot
be your collegiate lesbian
experience. I do not sleep
around and I won't be a experiment
for your boyfriend. I date
solely on personality and
compatibility; just because you are
attractive does not
automatically get you on my dance card.
call me an a-hole if you will.
no really, I prefer it that
way.

and now, on with the
show.
sometimes

it's hard
to
tell
reality

from
fiction,
especially

when

you
realize that you're


just

another boring adult

with
a

Toys R Us
complex.
I use


this line a
lot,
mainly
because


it's true.
who am
I? your


guess is just
as
good
as mine.
I
laugh

with
my mouth open
wide


and
spin around in
circles



until I'm too dizzy to


stand.

sometimes I write and



sometimes I
sketch.

I

clam up when I'm
in


trouble.
I scream and
hide
my

eyes
through
spread out


fingers
during
the scary

scenes.
my

ashtray
is
always

overflowing.
in

social
situations
you'll


find me along
a wall sipping



my
beer and watching the




crowd ebb and flow.
I
have 2



whiney cats. they
own
my
heart
and
are it's

first line
of
defense.



heart. I
use that
term


loosly.
sometimes it


really just

functions as
a

second liver.


eventually

that'll clear up.
Someday I'll
sprout wings and
fly to the
moon, but until
then I'm
content with pursuing
a foolhearted
dream in a
pair of haggard
Converse.
Sometimes I'm convinced
that
I'll never grow up.
Sometimes
I'm smacked in the face
with
the fact that I already

have.

someday I'll be a chef. until


then I'm just a cook.

I want conversations with or without words. I want reality with a dash of fantasy and a pinch of spice. I want sideways glances. I want mutual respect and mutual understanding. I want to want to love. that is not a typo. I want someone with the mind of an adult and the heart of a child. I want honesty and decency. I want generosity and spontinaity. I want sincerity. I want a lot.