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Important stuff to know:





-I
have a big, drooly dog. I




kiss his face as
often
as


possible

and


sometimes he

licks
mine.
Yeah, I
know
what

else he
licks.


I

don't care.

He sleeps
in my
bed
at
night.
It's a

toss-up who



snores


louder.




-I'm poor. Legally. But I can




pay for dinner. I'm


getting
my


Ph.D. so
I'm
not

"creepy"
poor.
After
I get
it, I
may

go work


at
Home

Depot just

for the
discount
on
power

tools.
What
do I



wanna be when
I

grow up?

Happy. I don't


want to be a
job,

just


have

one.




-I like my cell
phone. And




my Palm Pilot. And my

home


theatre system. My




laptop.

Desktop.

Wireless
network.
My

Palm
Pilot can
connect



to my

WiFi
network or
beam
stuff
to
other

Palm Pilots.
I
never




do those

things, but


someday... OK,
other

factors may




contribute to

being
poor. But

I'm
doing

alright.




-I love football.
And




Baseball. And Boticelli,

Escher,


Pollack. Opera
makes
me




cringe.
Oprah,
too, for
that


matter. I'll
travel
almost





anywhere. And
while
we're
being

honest, I

find many




vegetarians

a little

annoying. I
love

animals,

really.

But some
of
them
are

just
downright

tasty.




-Mitch Hedberg. Funny, funny,




funny. If this makes
you



laugh:





" You know when they have a
fishing show on TV?
They catch the fish and then let it
go. They don't want to eat the fish,
they just want to make it late for
something."





ma ybe you should email me.

<

I walked past a Cinnabon once










withou t


buying


one.

-Don't be afraid of a little di rt . Or drool. The dog's, not mine. Maybe a little of mine. The most inspiring things are outside, but you can get a little muddy getting there. -Remind me frequently how much you love me. But not on the 1st date. Wear my shirts once in a while. Touch me from behind when I'm not expecting it. Let me catch you staring at me from across the room. Hug me when I'm ang ry. -M ake one or two decisions for me. Remind me to eat lunch. Let me know if I hurt your feelings. But not by hurting mine. Defend me with passion. Challenge me with ideas. Get angry at injustice and cruelty. Make love to me spon ta ne ou sl y. -Spend a whole day with me on the couch. Let me show you London. Help me keep my garden from dying. Teach me something new. Keep my secrets. Respect our differences.