In the online dating world, switching from email to voice mail communication is more difficult than you might realize. After all, electronic messages can be viewed, edited and rephrased before you send them. Voice mails? Not so much.

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Leaving a voice mail worthy of a callback is actually very simple. Remember back in elementary school when you learned the outline for writing a paper? Consider the same outline when leaving a voice mail:

1. Introduction: Never assume that you are the only person extending a date invitation. If you don’t say who you are and leave your number, your chances of a callback could be squashed.
2. First supporting point: Why are you calling?
3. Second supporting point: Why should they call you back?
4. Conclusion: Say something that will make them remember you. They may have gotten other invitations, but you want to make yours sound like the best choice.

Now, clearly there is room for some leniency with that outline. You’ll develop your own style to leaving messages, but don’t stray too far from the outline. If you do, you could end up feeling like Mike Peters (Jon Favreau) in the movie Swingers.

Avoid these top 5 phone faux pas:

1. Using um, uh, eh or any other space filler: This makes you appear insecure. Say what you want to say and hang up.
2. Answering for him or her: You don’t know whether they’ll be interested in meeting, but including “you probably don’t want to” anywhere in the message could sway their decision. Why wouldn’t they want to go out with you?
3. Hanging up without leaving a message: You might think hanging up without leaving a message makes you more desirable in an “I’m so cool, I don’t even have to leave a message” kind of way. Keep in mind, though, that the recipient might interpret your actions in an “I’m so nervous I can’t even leave an intelligent message” kind of way.
4. Calling from an area that’s noisy or has bad reception: You might be interested in promoting how in tune you are with the music scene. However, saying “Hey! I’m just hanging out at the (insert cool band name) show right now. Listen to this!” and holding the phone up to booming concert speakers is not nearly as impressive as you might think.
5. Leaving lengthy voice mail messages: I cannot tell you how annoying it is when you want to check your voice mail really quickly and you get stuck listening to a 10-minute message that seems to say nothing at all. They’re like car wrecks. You can’t just delete them and move on – you have to listen to the full piece and make sure you don’t miss anything important.

So the next time you get a phone number from someone you’ve met through TRUE, remember these tips. Even if you have been talking online with this individual for months and feel like you know them better than your closest friends, it’s a good idea to be prepared for the next level of communication. Leaving a bad voice mail could break your dating career, but leaving a good one could make it!

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