There are regular folks, and then there are the rock stars in the room: people with the magnetism of Oprah, the charm of Audrey Hepburn and the bubbly joie de vivre of SpongeBob.

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Every corporate office, every college campus, every elementary school, for that matter, has its rock star: a larger-than-life personality whose essence, beyond mere brains, talent or beauty, makes him stand apart.

The French call it je ne sais quoi, or "I know not what," but the fact is, we do have words for these attributes. Charisma, chutzpah, joie de vivre and grace are four such "X-factors," enviable attitudes that defy easy definition, even as they are immediately recognizable in people we admire.

CHARISMA: The Spellbinders

Textbooks break presidents down along party lines, but the real divide, in the public imagination, is the chasm between charismatic maestros and bland statesmen. "Kennedy had it," says veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas of JFK. "He was inspiring and magnetic. He gave us hope. [He] radiated that onward-and-upward good feeling."

"A charismatic person never plays it small," says Frank Bernieri, professor of psychology at Oregon State University. "Seeing Tony Robbins is like listening to loud music that you can't help but tap your foot to."

A charismatic leader acts as a bonding agent, allowing you to give in to the giddy togetherness of a peace rally or a line dance. You forget yourself in his company and climb into the palm of his hand.

CHUTZPAH: Oh, The Nerve

Chutzpah makes our jaws drop because it openly challenges our conformist tendencies. It's a behavior that crosses a social norm, not merely to get away with something, but rather to purposefully challenge convention.

In the mid-1990s, Erin Brockovich was a scantily clad file clerk at the law firm Masry & Vititoe when she noticed a suspicious pattern in the medical records of Hinkley, California, residents. When she pursued the case and took the Pacific Gas and Electric Company to the cleaners, we admired her brashness on behalf of a community subjected to environmental toxins. "I never cared about being fired," she says. "I knew I was doing the right thing."

With proper support, even a shy wallflower can muster the courage to be provocative. But people with true gumption have life experiences that force them to use their natural boldness to break boundaries. Brockovich struggled with dyslexia as a child. "I knew I wasn't dumb, but it pissed me off that I was being labeled. I always questioned what people perceived as normal, because I never thought I was normal," she says.

JOIE DE VIVRE: The Day-Seizers

People with joie de vivre (which translates literally as "joy in life") are like windup dolls that never run down. They are passionate explorers who view their work as play. That's not to say they are unfailingly happy. "Yo-Yo Ma is certainly one of the most exuberantly joyful people I have ever met," says writer Mark Salzman, a friend of the legendary cellist. "But he is responsive to what is going on around him. If you put him in a room with people who are grieving, he will be as sad as anyone."

Positive thinking can be taught. But passionate exuberance is something you're born with. Zeal paired with emotional responsiveness can be identified in babies as young as four months old, says University of Maryland psychologist Nathan Fox.

But even people who struggle to get up in the morning can catch a temporary case of exuberance. While most moods are contagious, exuberance not only spreads quickly, but also expands one's sense of possibility.

GRACE: Fierce Benevolence

When Colleen Dawson's son was a third-grader, he shared a class in South Africa with Nelson Mandela's grandson. "On parents' night, [Mandela] visited, folding his six-foot frame into his grandson's desk," says Dawson. "Normally, we would have asked about homework and other silly details, but no one spoke. So he just started talking in a quiet, authoritative way about the important job of teaching. He's like a higher power; between the president and God there is Mandela."

Mandela put the tongue-tied parents at ease in the classiest way: He shifted the emphasis onto their shared interest in the school and elevated the agenda. Wise souls like Mandela rarely become overwhelmed by their own feelings or by discomfort. Their poise and impeccable timing allow them to strike the right emotional chord.

Graceful prominent figures transcend their privileged existence to connect with the public. Instead of succumbing to her own grief, Jackie Kennedy stoically led her young son to deliver a heartbreaking salute at JFK's funeral. This grand gesture moved Americans because it allowed them to grieve along with her. Jackie recognized the exaggerated effect her actions would have on the world's stage.

People possessed of X-factors know the hold they have over us. And if they use these qualities for the common good, we gladly go under their spell.

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