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They’re arguably the five biggest mysteries of our time:
- Bigfoot
- The recipe for Coca Cola
- UFOs
- “Where’s Waldo?”
- Selecting the right gift for the person you’re dating
Of course, solving the first four puzzles probably won’t help your relationship, but neglecting that fifth mystery could be lethal to your romantic health.
This is especially important during the holidays. You probably know how stressful this time of year can be on a relationship; often your time is not your own because you’re rushing around trying to please everyone else. Adding to this stress is trying to figure out that perfect gift for your partner – also known as holidating.
In the early stage of a relationshp you know a good deal about a person, but perhaps not enough to know exactly what would make a great gift. What’s worse: you’d better get the gift selection right or else risk your partner perceiving you as incompatible!
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Whatever you eventually decide on, don’t lose sight of the fact that the act of giving is the true gift. When you give someone a gift, you are saying "you are important to me— you matter ."
Rather than racking your brain over choosing an actual, physical present, consider giving the gift of an experience. It doesn’t matter whether experiences involve activities already familiar to you both, or whether they are new and novel adventures. It doesn’t matter whether the experience is planned or spontaneous. Giving and sharing experiences helps reinforce the couple’s identity and solidarity. And, since many shared experiences integrate tangibles, words, deeds and physical contact, the result can leave an indelible mark in your partner’s mind.
It’s not about money. Consider the following:
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
The typos can't fool you! See how the mind assimilates all sensory and psychological information that’s present in a given moment? Likewise, don’t stress out about whether your gift is perfect in every detail. Exciting, fun or deeply sentimental experiences allow your partner’s mind to perceive the intention (an expression of affection) and the outcome (the gift that’s the manifestation of your intention) as a whole. The effect is powerful on many levels.
Working with a lot of money or just a little … there’s a wide range of ways to give your partner unforgettable experiences that help you two bond even closer. Use your creativity! Put your heart and mind, rather than your wallet, into creating experiences. For example:
- Surprise your partner by taking him/her to a grocery store late at night and selecting foods for a nighttime picnic. Then, go find a secluded spot on a hill or in a park, and enjoy each other’s company by candlelight.
- Make a couple scrapbook the 21st century way by spending an evening working with your partner selecting photos and digitally reproducing each other mementos in order to build a Web site that showcases your relationship.
- Make lemonade or coffee and cookies, and then go take your partner to a secluded playground and act like young kids.
- Learn to do some new activity together, like horseback riding, cooking, ice skating, playing a musical instrument or dancing.
- Volunteer together at your favorite charity – or volunteer to walk dogs and cats at a local shelter or kennel.
- Go see a good stand-up comic, live theater or concert by your favorite band.
Take our free TRUE Compatibility Test (TCT) to learn more about yourself and your ideal partner. You’ll receive a free 30-page personality report that explains how your traits, attitudes and abilities influence your connections with others. For more expert tips on building a great relationship click here.
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