There are nine secrets to phenomenal flirting, but it’s no secret that a sense of humor is great for your love life. Humor conveys optimism and builds rapport with others — outcomes that are amazingly attractive to both sexes.
But you don’t have to tell a joke in order to show your sense of playfulness. You can laugh at others – men absolutely love women who laugh at their jokes – or just find something funny in every situation. Humor can be acquired by looking at the bright side of circumstances.
The Connection Between Laughter and Libido
Know your humor! TRUE’s psychologists analyzed the responses from 9,000 men and women in a survey on sense of humor. It was found that most varieties of comedy can be reduced to three main types of humor:
Intellectual – involving dark humor, dry humor, geeky humor, irony, satire and puns.
Silly – involving slapstick, “potty” humor, physical comedy and humor described as “stupid.”
Sarcasm – involving wisecracks and self-deprecation.
Men tended to prefer intellectual and silly humor, whereas women tended to favor sarcasm. Use this knowledge in your flirting and dating! Furthermore, all three types of humor were related to significant increases in libido across all respondents. That is, there is scientific evidence that those with a good overall sense of humor make better lovers!
A sense of humor is great for your mental health and self-esteem. Humor maintains a positive and upbeat mood. This, in turn, will make you feel more relaxed and attractive. People who feel attractive come across as attractive. In general, people with a good sense of humor are generally liked much more than people who have no sense of humor, or people with a preference for derogatory jokes. A good sense of humor is something that tends to be very important to both men and women. The extent to which a person has a good sense of humor (i.e., broad sense of humor) is influenced by the person’s general levels of cheerfulness, seriousness and negativity.
Good flirts laugh a lot. Now mix in the other eight fundamentals of flirting and you’re on the road to success:
Eye contact: It you want to create instant interest with someone, look him or her right in the eye. In addition to the self-esteem that we gain from using eye contact, we also become better listeners.
Good listening: When you truly listen to another person, you bestow one of the greatest gifts – respect.
Asking questions: When you ask people questions about themselves, their interests and opinions, you make them feel appreciated. Can you think of anyone who doesn't want to feel liked?
Exuding confidence: At least 60 percent of communication is nonverbal, which means that people form opinions about you based on what they see – how you carry yourself, dress and use facial expressions.
Being truthful: In addition to telling the truth, keep your word: It’s another way to show honesty in a relationship. One of the best assets is showing others that you are vulnerable.
Liking and respecting people: Good flirts know the importance of liking and respecting all people. Conversely, people who stand in judgment of others tend to be very poor flirts. The more people you meet, the more you increase your chances of success..
Showing a positive attitude: The more you practice positive language, the more of a habit it becomes. Start by avoiding words like “don’t,” “can’t.” Replace them with words like “do” and “can.” One benefit is that you actually feel more positive.
Being an attractive person: Being attractive is subjective – attractive is whatever it means to you. The point is, when you feel good, you look good, and the inner peace that you feel inside radiates outward.
Online dating can especially be stressful – you can learn about thousands and thousands of eligible people in a short time, as well as engage in online meet and greets via email, IM and chat rooms. Humor can showcase your personality to romantic prospects online, while simultaneously helping to keep stress in check. Foster a sense of humor and you will reap benefits in all areas of your life.
Research suggests that having a good sense of humor on good days does not help people cope. Instead, people who are able to find humor in stressful circumstances are better equipped to effectively cope with stress. Some research suggests that humor is as an effective coping mechanism because it boosts immune strength and is a sign of good mental health.
One study even found that the use of humor led to an increase in pain tolerance. Specifically, laughter stimulates the release of endorphins (the same neurotransmitters that are released when people exercise; one reason why people experience “runner’s high”). In a different study, stress-related hormones decreased during episodes of laughter. All of this provides explanations for why humor is effective. However, studies reveal that only about 34 percent of people report using humor to cope with stress and manage their emotions. Clearly, most people fail to take full advantage of healing powers of humor.
Previous research suggests that male humor is typically more sexual and aggressive than female sense of humor. On the other hand, women typically prefer more self-deprecating humor (remember that TRUE’s survey found that men like intellectual and silly humor and women like sarcasm and wisecracks). Sexuality and self-esteem are personal issues that affect all couples. Being able to laugh and joke about topics that are sensitive in the relationship can be helpful for both partners. Why? Doses of humor are a good way to broach sensitive topics and cope with the stress of resolving them.
Sharing humor with your partner through a good comedy movie, a live comedian, a spontaneous tickle fight or reminiscing about funny events you’ve experienced promotes excitement. Dopamine and norepinephrine are sex chemicals in the brain that give us feelings of euphoria, exhilaration, and passionate love. The great thing is that these same chemicals are also produced when we’re excited. “Adrenaline makes the heart grow fonder!” This may well explain why TRUE’s survey found that libido noticeably increases as sense of humor increases. So, the bottom line is: have a sense of humor when pursuing love. Love and laughter go hand in hand.
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