Sometimes it's hard to craft an email. That big blank screen can be intimidating. Here are tips on how to compose the electronic equivalent of an old-fashioned love letter.

What a love letter is … and isn't!

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Too many people try to use love letters as manipulation tactics – carefully crafted words to woo a romantic partner into some type of submission. Genuine love letters are not tools to be used to fix problems or to advance selfish agendas. Genuine love letters are not written with the intent of gaining something in return.

Done well, love letters are one of the most amazing and personal gifts lovers can bestow on each other. And more than just a gift, love letters are affirmations for both parties – a powerful reminder that partners should not take each other for granted.

Opening and closing a love letter

Think about this: You often form impressions of others based on how they approach you. You know whether or not you like someone based on how they first speak to you, how hard or softly they shake your hand, and how they introduce themselves in relation to you.

Your reaction is immediate and instinctive. The same kind of response is true for letters and emails.

The opening and closing of a love letter are crucial because they set the tone and context for the entire letter. To be most effective, you must respect the context and limits of your relationship at the time you are writing the letter.

What this means is that the first step for the writer is to determine the stage of your love. For example, you would not want to start a letter with "My Darling Love, Angie" if you have only dated her for two weeks. A more appropriate opening might be "To Angie, with warmest affection."

The opposite approach would apply if your relationship has moved into a more intimate area. You would not want to write a lesser opening and risk sending the wrong signal to your lover that might suggest you are only friends. For example, "To Angie, with warmest affection" may sound like you are writing to your old high school teacher. If you and Angie are an exclusive item, instead the signal you would want to send is something like, "To Angie, my only heart and soul."

The closing of your love letter should add impact that sums up your feelings in a few words. For example:

• Yours unconditionally
• Your beloved husband
• My love
• With heartfelt love
• I long for your touch, love

Closings of lesser impact may include:

• With warmest regards
• With affection
• With fondest memories
• Until our next meeting
• Yours truly
• Always and forever

These are just ideas. Do not take these suggestions verbatim. Love letters are so powerful because they are personal tokens – words that come straight from your heart. They must exhibit your own personality, style and choice of words. Don't agonize about trying to be a Casanova or a Cyrano, just have fun writing to the person of your dreams!

Writing tips for the in-between

So you've thought about how serious your relationship is and you have an opening … and perhaps even a closing in mind. Great! But, you now need a middle. No one can write that for you, but there are some guidelines.

1. Be sincere. This should be obvious … but for some it isn't. Both men and women can usually tell when they are hearing insincerity and manipulation. An insincere love letter is worse than no love letter at all.
2. Don't use emoticons or acronyms. This is not a vague fortune cookie, horoscope or impersonal form letter you are writing. Genuine love letters are personal expressions with real words, not manifestations of pop culture like LOL, SWAK or :).
3. Check your spelling. Show the person you care when it comes to how you express yourself to him or her.
4. Use the person's name. Or better still, use the pet name you have for your partner. A person's name is often the sweetest sound!
5. Use action words. Be they sweet, silly, or hot and heavy … love letters are tangible expressions of passion and appreciation. Allow that chemistry to jump from the page rather than passively trickle from it.
6. Writing love letters is something for both of you. The writer and receiver both "gain" from a love letter, if it is done well. Speak in your own words, but adhere to the "language" of your partner. If your partner loves and speaks French, throw some in! If your partner loves sports, use some of that imagery in your writing to grab their attention even more!
7. Speak to all the senses. Another thing that should be obvious but isn't. Humans are visual creatures. But, we do use other senses to collect information, make evaluations and store memories. Some of our most powerful and lasting memories are tied to particular scents or sounds. Use imagery involving all the senses – not just visual – wherever you can.
8. Make it interactive. Love letters may be snapshots of your voice and sentiments, but that doesn't mean they need to be static. Allow the reader to contribute to the letter with his/her own imagination. For example, ask rhetorical or direct questions in the letter, such as what the reader might wear, say or do in a given situation.
9. Talk about reactions. Talk about the mental, and if it applies, the physical chemistry, you share. People want to know that they matter to another, that their presence has an impact. Passionately convey safety, respect, admiration and love.
10. Talk about joint experiences. Reminiscing about special times with the reader is a great way to engage the senses and promote an interactive component to the letter. It also makes it personal like nothing else can – you are speaking about how this person directly affected you, and you two are the only ones who know it. Sharing secrets helps reinforce a couple's identity and bond. And talking about how great you feel about those experiences today also hints at more great things in the future.
11. Use couple talk. If you two share special words, phrases or mannerisms, then incorporate them into the letter. Since the letter is meant only for the reader, do not hesitate to write in ways that only the reader can understand. For example, if you always wink at your partner when saying goodbye, then end the letter with a written wink.
12. Keep it real. False advertising is neither sensual nor respectful. More to the point, it does not lead to genuine anticipation for either of you. When discussing fantasies, daydreams or other types of scenarios, your letter will have more impact if you keep those scenarios within the realm of reality. The thought of what really could be is more alluring than an outrageous, unrealistic fantasy. You have free reign with privileged resources, but most of us can never run away to a private island, have a world famous artist capture your love's image on canvas, or shower someone with jewels that would make Queen Elizabeth jealous.
13. Anticipation is a lover's friend. Romance on a realistic level gives the reader something to look forward to – a touch, whisper, a new experience, or just the assurance of your presence tomorrow. Some dreams may take years to achieve, such as a special trip or owning a cottage in Martha's Vineyard, but anticipation on a small or large scale thrills the mind, heart and senses.
14. Be unpredictable. Love letters sent on an anniversary or other special day like Valentine's Day or a person's birthday are nice, but expected. Predictability dampens emotional reactions. People feel a greater rush of surprise and excitement when nice things happen "out of the blue." Likewise, love letters have more impact in the short and long term when they are received at a time or place that is not expected by the reader.

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