Today's single mothers are multitasking more than ever: handling parental duties, working increasing hours and keeping up with household chores. But rather than making a person feel more efficient, multitasking often produces stress and anxiety.
What's missing from this scenario, according to research, is balance. Now — just in time for Mother's Day — experts give tips on how singles mothers can cope with the stresses and demands of balancing work and family life.
"Spending time together seems to be an antidote to these issues of stress," said Barbara Schneider, who, along with Linda Waite is co-director of the Sloan Center on Parents, Children and Work. "People's sense of well-being is elevated when they spend time together as a family."
But finding time to focus on family is becoming more and more difficult. The conflict between work and family life has become more pronounced as mothers increasingly report working more than 40 hours a week. A significant percentage of working mothers arrive at work early or stay late as well as take work home with them as they try to conform with work expectations that often collide with and overpower family needs.
"Work plays a significant role in the lives of working mothers, not only in the amount of time they spend at work but also with their attitudes toward work and how these attitudes and expectations spill over to the home," Schneider said. "Overworking is very pervasive, but parents don't have the mechanisms to put the brakes on," Schneider said.
Trade-offs and compromises between family and work obligations appear unavoidable for many parents. Having to choose between undesirable alternatives often results in feelings of guilt and regret, especially for mothers. Many don't want to be perceived as being on "the mommy track" because that could have negative career consequences.
"It isn't just a problem of the employee, it's a workplace problem that requires people to work together to make flex-time a real option that doesn't have negative repercussions with respect to job security and promotion," Schneider said. "Rearranging work schedules to make people's lives more reasonable should be a desirable option."
Researchers found several ways families cope with the work/life balance:
- Sharing chores: Few emotional benefits are associated with housework, yet when the whole family engages in household tasks everyone is happier and more involved and more relaxed than if they do chores alone.
- Religious participation: Parents and adolescents with strong personal faith experience greater happiness, have higher self-esteem and feel substantially more caring toward others.
- Making time to be together: Mothers who are highly stressed improve their state of mind by being with their families. Even watching television together can bring families closer.
Making these adjustments helps improve relationships between parents and children and can be beneficial as children grow up.
"It's changed considerably what it means to parent in the 21st century," Schneider said. "They are making very important decision in their lives – applying to colleges, choosing courses and making friends. They really want to be with their parents."
It's important for families to simply communicate, talk over events of the day and share goals.
If juggling the demands of work and home has you feeling stressed out, check out where you are on our single-parent Stressometer.
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