Solitude for you

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1. cooking, gardening
2. reading/ bath time before bed
3. get out of the office at lunch time
4. use friends and family to watch kids at some point during the week (play dates, etc.). Trade off.

Essentially, the idea is to shift focus for a given amount of time. For that period, think of your life as just that — yours; rather than just a function of interconnected relationships. You don't have to delete everything in your PDA for the day, or even reschedule anything. You can start small, with 15 minutes here or there, and then take an afternoon to yourself when you finally have the chance.

Now, what should you do? Here are some suggestions:

Yours, mine and the hours Solitude can be the hardest commodity to come by in a single-parent family. continue >>

1. Exercise
   The kind that takes you somewhere, such as jogging, walking and cycling, can be especially refreshing. Barring that, have a nice round of golf, or lift some weights in the gym.
2. Go for a long drive
   Either cruise around the old neighborhood with your favorite CD on, or hit the highway and head for the countryside for a welcomed change of pace.
3. Check out some cool stuff
   Hit the music store, check out some vintage cars or get yourself some tools. If you have any special interests, by all means go crazy and make a solo trip to the SCUBA gear outlet, the hunting supplies store, or the bike shop.
4. Go to a bookstore
   Yes, a novel idea, I know, but fortunately, many bookstores now include coffee shops. So, get yourself a cup of joe, a few magazines and relax while reading.
5. Find a natural spot
   Go to the park or the lake, and find a mellow place where you won't run into anyone you know. Soak in the relaxing surroundings and try thinking about nothing.
6. Stay home
   Order in, take the phone off the hook and do whatever the hell you want. I recommend renting a movie — you'd be surprised how satisfying it is to finally rent that Vietnam flick your girlfriend always whines about when you suggest it.
7. Undertake a project
   From mowing the lawn to washing your car, go ahead and accomplish something. Best of all, when you've finished, you can enjoy the satisfaction that comes with crossing something off your to do list.
8. Take in a concert or film
   You may be surprised about how enjoyable it is to have only one opinion afterwards -- yours. If you end up checking out a movie or seeing a band for a second time, you might even notice details you've never noticed before.
9. Get extreme
   If you're an experienced outdoorsman, going camping, backpacking, kayaking, or hiking by yourself can be liberating. Just don't do anything too dangerous.
10. Do something creative
    Don't worry about being the next Picasso, but enjoy the sensations of taking photos, painting, messing around with a digital camera, or picking up your old oboe from the high school band.

Solitude for them

We work so hard at parenting — a word that did not even exist 50 years ago — that we want some sign that our efforts are succeeding. We scrutinize our child for clues, anxiously judging how fast they grow and achieve milestones, how early they learn to read, how good they are at ballet or creative writing. But this intense attention gives children another subliminal message: “If I am as good as my parents say, why do I need constant self-improvement? I must not be very good at all.”

Alone time should encourage children to explore and express their inner world. Give them time to decompress after school, after dinner, or just be spontaneous and free on the weekends.

Solitude for your family

1. Get up earlier or go to bed slightly later = An increased amount of time you have together and are focused on one another.
2. Mary Poppins was right: Sharing chores can be an opportunity for family time, and consequently, turn strenuous times into fun times.
3. Activities like picnics and visits to a local playground can address all three forms of solitude: play together, but also take time to relax and reflect while your child plays by him/herself.
4. Have fun teaching your kids something that increases their independence: cooking simple dishes or foods, folding laundry, painting a fence, wash the car, gardening, etc.
5. It may sound very Brady Bunch, but you can have some memorable family time by singing, joking, talking, etc. in the car together while running errands.
6. Always have some personal holiday ritual for the nuclear family – something that is just for you and the kids.

Learn about your most compatible matches

Take any of the family of free tests that make up the TRUE Compatibility Test to learn more about yourself and the kind of person who will rock your world! Try the TRUE Interests test, the TRUE Personality test, the TRUE Communication test, the TRUE Sexploration test, the TRUE Romance test and the TRUE Commitment test!