Got the email jitters? You're not alone.

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Sometimes it's hard to know what to say in an email. But I'll let you in on a little secret: what you say is not as important as the way you say it. And that's not just my opinion; lots of our members tell me the same thing every day.

So the next time you feel like the cat's got your tongue, try these tips:

Sending an email

1. Don't ask a question that will require an essay. Instead of saying, “Tell me about yourself,” ask a specific question about something you read in the member's profile. You are much more likely to get a response this way because it shows you have taken the time to find out his or her interests.
2. Don't say anything inappropriate. Let's say you bumped into someone at a museum and you were interested in getting to know that person. Chances are whatever you'd say in that situation is probably safe to put it in an email.
3. Don't write a "form" email. Copying and pasting the same thing over and over for you, but it's usually pretty obvious and can be offensive to the receiver. You don't want to give the impression that you didn't take the time to write them something special.

Get the scoop!

For more tips on making TRUE work for you, visit the TRUE Coaching Center. Welcome to Ask Fite – a column dedicated to answering your questions about TRUE, profiles, chat rooms, winks and email. I’m Fite. I’m a real person, and it’s my job to help you improve your profile. Write me! I'm here to help. Send an email to Fite right now! Ready to find someone? Search now>>

1. It is always the right thing to do to send a reply email. When you are not interested in the person who sent you the email, respond with a simple, “Thank you for the email, but I dont think we'd be a good fit. ” Being honest is much better than leaving someone hanging.
2. Don't bombard someone with email. Take the time to let them read your email and respond to you.Sending six emails in a day, before you've received a reply, just makes you look desperate.

Put these tips to use and you're already a step ahead. Need more specialized help writing emails? Just send me an email and I'll let you know what I think!

Want me to take a look at your "first-move" email and tell you what I think? I’m here for you – email me!

Want me to use your profile in an upcoming column! Email me! But don’t worry – unless you give me permission to use your profile for a column (with names and identifying details changed), everything we discuss will remain confidential.

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